


Unexpected

by xylarias



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Dreams, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, I Love You, Mantis Crew (Star Wars), Mutual Pining, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xylarias/pseuds/xylarias
Summary: Many of the things that had happened to Cal Kestis were things he hadn't expected.Falling in love with Merrin was one of them.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> soft Merrical with mutual pining because I think they're vv cute :)

Many of the things that had happened to Cal Kestis were things he hadn't expected.

Falling in love with Merrin was one of them.

  
  


* * *

  
  


_"You're a jedi," said Merrin, knitting her eyebrows. "Aren't you supposed to be able to get out of here? With your... Force? Lightsaber?"_

_Cal shook his head. "I'm not... I don't know. It's not working." He shrugged, unsheathing his lightsaber from his belt. It illuminated the cave they were stuck in, the rocks glowing with a magenta sheen. He studied his free hand, turning it. "It's like this place is stifling my connection with the Force."_

_Merrin gave him a_ hmm _, her face pensive. "Then how_ do _we get out of here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow._

_"Is your – is your Nightsister magic working?" said Cal, answering Merrin's question with one of his own._

_Merrin laughed, tucking a stray strand of silver hair behind her ear, then shook her head. "You think my magic would work, if your Force didn't?" Cal pondered this. They drew their power from different places, but this place seemed to deny all sorts of magic or strange power. Merrin smiled at him, and something struck Cal. He felt a lump form in his throat, and a realization hit him. He was in love. He was in love with Merrin. "Cal?"_

_Cal blinked, zoning back in. "_ Um _," he said, probably looking very charming. "I... I guess not." He deflated a bit, his shoulders falling. He sighed. "We'll get out of here," he assured not her so much as himself. "I promise."_

  
  


* * *

  
  


Cal sat on the seat behind the holotable, beside Merrin. She was quiet, staring at her hands. Spacing out, most likely. "Hey," he said. "How are you holding up?" She blinked, turning her gaze to Cal.

  
  


"I'm fine," Merrin said. A lie, as far as Cal could tell. "Just... just thinking."

  
  


"Yeah," agreed Cal. "Me too."

  
  


Merrin inhaled, frowning. "It's just... hard, not having power. It makes you feel useless," she said, and Cal knew that it was not much of a _you_ but more of a _me_. "Weak."

  
  


"I get that," said Cal, laying one hand on top of Merrin's. She smiled weakly at him, mouthing a 'thank you'. "But at least we had each other back there, right?"

  
  


Merrin nodded. "Yes," she said thoughtfully, "I suppose so." Cal smiled lopsidedly at her, offering her half a grin. "I wonder what would've happened if Cere and Greez hadn't showed up."

  
  


"Tch, yeah," replied Cal with a chuckle. "Thankfully they did, because otherwise, we would've been dead meat."

  
  


Merrin laughed shortly. "True," she said. "But it was also thanks to your observance," she stated.

Cal blushed. Merrin didn't see that. Or at least he hoped she didn’t. "Oh, stop it," he said, "I did the least I could do."

  
  


Without a warning, Merrin embraced him. Cal's hands hovered uselessly as she did, but the hug was over before he could find anything to do with them. "Thank you," she said out loud.

  
  


Cal nodded. "No problem."

  
  


* * *

  
  


_"Merrin!" screamed Cal, cupping his hands to fortify his voice. "Merrin! You're not gonna make it! Just..." his voice broke. "Just leave it!" he shouted, his voice cracking as he yelled at the top of his lungs, wanting Merrin to just_ listen _to him, wanting her to come back, not being able to bear the thought of_ losing _her– "Please!" he pleaded, watching as wisps of green Nightsister magic danced in the air, around Merrin, surrounding her, caging her. It was pretty, sometimes, but right now, it was terrifying, a prison that captured Merrin. They locked eyes; hers were focused, but afraid, his were pleading, desperate. Merrin's eyelids were drooping, her magic fading, and her eyes rolled back in their sockets as she fell to the ground._

  
  


_And in that moment, something in Cal rose to the surface, clouding his vision, like pins prickling at his skin._

_Anger._

  
  


_He breathed raggedly, his eyes focusing on the unconscious Merrin and her only, their enemies_ _obscured_ _by the_ _darkness, the_ fury _in him – and he bursted. His anger bubbled in him, and he felt the pull of the dark side, but it didn't matter, because Merrin was in danger._

_Merrin_

_Merrin_

_Merrin_

_Everyone around him imploded, and everything around him exploded, or so it seemed. To him, anyway. He ran to Merrin, gently holding her head in his hands. "Merrin," he whispered hoarsely. "Wake up."_

_Wake up_

_Wake up_

_Wake up_

_Merrin gasped, and relief washed over Cal._

  
  


* * *

  
  


"You connected with the dark side because of me?" asked Merrin, her voice full of disbelief. " _Cal_." She carefully sat up on the mattress, facing Cal.

  
  


Cal buried his face in his hands. "Look, I know, it's just..." He wanted to say it. He wanted to let her know. "You– You were in danger."

  
  


"I had my magic."

  
  


"I'm sorry, but it– it wasn't _enough_ ," stated Cal. "I saw the fear in your eyes. You should've seen yourself, then, when you were doing magic. It was haunting to watch." Merrin's brown eyes flitted back to Cal from wherever they had been before.

  
  


"You risked your life for me, Cal. You shouldn't have done that."

  
  


Cal opened his mouth, then closed it, thinking twice before he spoke. "I had to," replied Cal. "You were about to die," he said. "I couldn't let you die. You– you mean too much me." A stunned silence welled in the air between them. Neither of them said a thing. They just stared, lips slightly parted. This felt weird. Good weird. Sort of awkward, but a good kind of awkward. "Yeah," said Cal. "Um. I'm sorry," he said, ending his sentence with a breathless laugh.

  
  


Merrin took Cal's hands in her own, staring at his blue eyes with a warm smile. "You mean a lot to me too, Cal."

  
  


* * *

  
  


"You like her, don't you?" asked Cere, softly bumping her shoulder against Cal's. Cal arched his eyebrows.

  
  


"Who?"

"Oh, I think you know who." Cere smirked. Cal's face heated up. He shook his head. "Merrin, Cal. You like her." Cere Junda, master of subtlety.

  
  


"Uh– I mean, yeah, she's my friend–"

  
  


Cere laughed. "Sure, she's your _friend_ ," she said, drawling the last word for emphasis. "I know you like her as more than that," she said. Cal cleared his throat and ended up coughing into his arm. "Look, from what I can tell, she reciprocates your feelings, even though it's not my place to say, I suppose."

  
  


Cal chewed on his lip pensively. "I mean, I don't know, really."

  
  


"Come on, Cal. Give it a chance."

  
  


Greez walked in the cockpit, sitting in his chair. "What're we talking about?"

  
  


Cere chuckled. "Oh, nothing." Cal rolled his eyes. "Just Cal's feelings toward Merrin."

  
  


"His feelings–? Oh. _Oh_." Greez's ears flicked back on his head as he made himself comfortable in his seat. "I wouldn't sweat it, kid. She's into ya."

  
  


Cal's face was burning. "You think?" Greez laughed loudly, giving Cal an _uh-huh_.

  
  


Maybe Cal should give it a chance.

  
  


* * *

  
  


_Dream: Cal sat on his room's bed, with Merrin, not wearing his poncho for once. Merrin gently traced his scars, her eyes lighting up with fascination as she ran her fingers over the scar that reached from his jaw to his neck. She soon moved them to the one that snaked over the bridge of his nose, exhaling slowly. "Where'd you get these from?"_

  
  


_Cal shrugged. "I used to work as a mechanic_ _back_ _on Bracca. I repaired stuff and, well, I hurt myself often on the job. This–" he said, pointing at the one on the right side of his face –" is from when I fell from too high up and hit my head against the wall. This, on the other hand–" he gestured to the scar across his nose – "was from when I tried to fit in a too tight space while working with my buddy Prauf and grazed myself pretty bad."_ _Cal turned fixed his gaze on Merrin, watching as she studied his scars. Before he could stop himself, the question was out of his mouth. "Can I_ _–_ _?"_ _Merrin blinked, turning her gaze back to Cal._

  
  


_"Can you…?" Merrin prompted him. They both knew what he meant, but Cal suspected that Merrin wanted to know if they really were his true intentions. Cal lifted his (trembling) hand, carefully placing his palm on Merrin’s cheek. The air was filled with silent anticipation. Cal leaned in, closing his eyes. He felt Merrin’s eyelashes tickling his cheeks as she did the same._

  
  


_Their lips met._

  
  


* * *

When Cal woke up, he was surprised to find that his dream hadn’t been real. BD-1 beeped curiously beside him, but Cal was too lost in his own thoughts to pay attention to the droid. It wasn’t that he’d thought it was a likely situation, it was that it had felt vivid enough for him to think that it had been real. But he knew what he had to do. He had to get this out of his system. They were currently on their way to Zeffo. Maybe there he could say what he wanted to say to Merrin. 

* * *

  
  


"What are we doing here, Cal?” Merrin asked as she followed Cal, all the way up to the mountains. Cal grunted as he climbed a ledge, Merrin following close to him.

  
  


"You’ll see,” Cal said, "just… Just follow me." Cal pulled his lightsaber from his belt, wrapping his hand around the corundum handle and slicing the scazz in front of them. They paved their path forward, having to fight at least four scazz and a phillak, but eventually, they ended up where Cal had been leading them – that is, a scenic place high up on the mountain. It was dawn. "So," Cal said.

  
  


"So," responded Merrin. "Why _are_ we here?"

  
  


Cal licked his lips, then took Merrin’s hands in his own. "Um, yeah. So." Cal took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you something." Merrin stared at their hands, then fixed her gaze on Cal. She nodded. "I, um… I love you," he said, straightforward. _That could’ve gone better_ , he thought immediately. The corners of Merrin’s mouth quirked. She laughed quietly.

  
  


"I love you too, Cal." Cal was stunned by this. He hadn’t expected… Before Cal could say anything about it, he realized that Merrin was leaning in, eyes closed. Cal did the same, even though he was still baffled.

  
  


And then they kissed.


End file.
